Purity Culture in the UC: “Your genitals are not your own” on Blessed Child Podcast

“Tw ⚠️⚠️ trafficking, sexual assault, violence, victim blaming, religious trauma.  Part 2 of “The everlasting gobstopper” where Second gen Ex-Moonies meet to deconstruct the trauma of growing up with purity culture in the Unification Church. Together, we are finding the words to describe the hidden complexities of growing up Moonie. Thank you @mightybrecca for joining this panel, and all other survivors who have anonymously contributed to creating this resource on purity culture in the UC. It is an honor to collect this wealth of wisdom.”

Summary:

Hard conversations. Rock out on workshops. Not allowed to dance with hips. Hip problems as a result of purity culture. Clitoral atrophy – clitoris shrinks if not used. The book The body keeps the score is helpful in understanding this. 10. Movement is good to release trauma. We are strong for surviving. PTSD is in the body. Guilt for intimacy with husband. Fear and shame is still there. Shutting down during sex. Told we’re not allowed to hug boys, even as friends. Early memories of talking of marriage and getting in trouble for talking about marrying. Dad explaining your husband will be chosen. 19. Teaching kids about consent. Virginity commodifies people with vulvas. Sexual organs belong to your spouse. That’s a dangerous message in terms of allowing others to take advantage. ‘Your genitals are not your own’ is something a Sex trafficker would say. 26.Asexuality. If you can control someone’s sexuality you can control them. Cult tactic. Obligation to have sex with partners when you don’t want to. Our parents went through the 3 ceremony. Shame about expressing intimacy which programs you to be abused because you don’t want to talk about it. After an assault you have a crush on the person. As a survival method. You don’t have that communication with yourself that it’s assault. Recovery involved a relationship with someone thoughtful. And talking about it with a friend. Recognize assault. We don’t understand consent. Shamed for sexual assault. Having children can be healing or re-traumatizing. Realizing you would never do to your child what was done to us. Parents need us to have a successful blessing for their sake. Ticket to heaven. Parents saying they won’t love your kids as they are fallen. 50.There is no unconditional love. Blood lineage and purity culture. Children going to blessing is for our parents to fulfill their responsibility. No unconditional love as it was not that. It warps your brain because its not true. Jen Kiaba’s blog on first love trauma. Your first love experience sets the blueprint for later relationships. It can be undone. Moral injury of being part of the machine that caused damage. 

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