Miriam speaks to Kacey on the Cult Vault about growing up in a church nursery in England, the pressure to be a good ‘blessed child’, and example for the younger ones, her arranged marriage and eventual journey out of the church.
Summary of content: 1. Intro to church and parents joining. 9. Offering children and sacrifice. 22. Similarity to suffering in Lisa Kohn’s story. 22. Different at school as a blessed child free of original sin. 26. Church nursery and sad without parents. 29. Daily Mail courtcase and split up families. 39. Workaholic. 41. Parents now recognise the damage caused and choose family over church. 46. Grandchildren. 48. Matching and blessing process. 57. Sister. 57. ‘Uncles and Aunties’ care while suffering. 63. Parentification. 65. Church centre life in London. 69. Shimjung Club and Jacob’s children. 70. Safety net of church community. 72. Us v them. 74. Realise the outside world is not bad. 75. GOP in Korea and split from siblings. 76. Judging siblings on return. 80. Camp Sunrise and 70 day workshop. STF in order to ‘save England.’ 82. Second generation leader in England. 86. Sleep deprivation and Steven Hassan. 88. Running workshops. 90. Picture matching, blessing and break up. Real life matching and leave. 102. Accept its a cult. Let go of lineage. 105. Panic attacks. 108. Cult hopping. 109. Self destruction and recreate abandonment. 111. Rage at the church. 114. Recovery is a gradual process. Find a community outside of the church.
ItsOKtoleave 
Even after everything I’ve been through, I am afraid to post my name. In my years in the church, anything that questioned anything, was satan. I will go to my grave with the fear that questioning the church might result in something bad happening to my loved ones. Imagine living like this? My daughter wants nothing to do with the church. I joined in the 1970’s and just want to die soon, rather than live in ‘guilt’.
LikeLike
Hello, thank you for sharing. I know that fear. The church had clever ways of controlling us with fear, and it is a long process to work through it. There are lots of professionals who can help, and if you want to share more, email itsoktoleave@gmail.com and we’ll see what help is available, even if it’s just listening. Thank you.
LikeLike