Naming the Elephant: Mx Yeb Raven on Falling Out Podcast

1. Podcasts as therapy. 3. Grooming children for sexual abuse. 6. Pan sexual. 7. Talking about sexuality. 11. Shame around sex and stunted development – being stuck at a young age. 15. Joyful experience of sex outside of marriage with enthusiastic consent. 18. Lack of sexual boundaries makes you vulnerable for rape. Not knowing you can say no. Your body is not your own and you have no boundaries. Taught to go with what the male figure says. Common experience of women in the church having sex they didn’t want to have. 20. People join the church just to get a wife through the blessing. 24. Non binary – a gender outside of being man or a woman. Trans means you disagree with the assignment of male or female you were given at birth. Gender fluid is where it can change. 29. Feeling like an alien, not fitting in anywhere. 30. Church was so fundamentally make or female. Hetero normative fundamentalism. Grooming people for rape culture. 36. Nan Sook Hong story of sexual abuse as Hyo Jin Moon’s wife – In the Shadow of the Moons. 40. Research suggests we attach to the cult leader like we did as children to a care giver. Coercive control tactic forms this codependent relationship. So when you get out of a cult it’s as if you have a mental disorder you need to recover from. 45. Need for a therapist who understands you and will do the research. PTSD is from trauma and complex PTSD is from a period of long time with abuse. 47. Some people can’t even talk about it so they compartmentalise or dissociate. 49. Fight or flight response. Or freeze. So if we have experienced a lot of trauma we shut down. Freeze. 55. Borderline personality disorder. 56. Split up the family. 57. Can be treated. 59. Moon was a narcissist.  1.01 growing up believing we’re special. It’s hard to release we’re not. 1.05 pendulum readings. 1.10 matching photos. 1.15 leaving the church. Falling in love. 1.17 taken out of sex education. 1.20 ran away from home to another church family and they sent me back. Went to college. The person I was in love with brought me a stash of research about how bad the cult was. 1.23. Couldn’t leave home till 17 because of Texas law. Mom helped me get out. 1.32 we are taught to be with people we don’t like. Took a while to find someone who loves and respects me. Healing can take a long time. 1.40 Racism in the church. Korean being the master race. Privilege in general in the church. Mysogyny. 1.50 grew up white wanting to be Korean. Or marry a Korean. Plus other levels of racism in the church still to explore.